Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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