she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
