remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
