Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
