And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
