some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
