Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
