I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
They have beer where we have blood.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
