Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize