If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
