ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize