you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I AM VODKA MAN
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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