Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
