i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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