If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
