This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
