I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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