It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
