she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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