you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
