I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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