You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
