So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
