oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she looked like the before picture.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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