in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize