oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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