new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize