Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
