Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
