cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
