Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
