I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
