I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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