didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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