It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
