My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
