I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
