Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
