She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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