In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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