if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
