You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
