Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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