That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
