in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
