babies were throwing up all over the place
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this will be a night to untag.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
