A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I could fuck to npr.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
