i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
