all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
