i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
