your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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