i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize