just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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