no, he came in my armpit
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
