Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
