I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
