i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
