It's Friday. Sex?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
