sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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