We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize